My 2nd sunday at here. Yup.... i sick... flu and fever... Not like usual have my dear to take care me. Now i've to take care myself alone. That's why i spend my whole day in the room only. Some more, i also have no place to go.
Today i have read a blog of my friend. In her blog she mentioning that the pressure of her works and also the unfair on some cases. It's answering some question of mine. A question that have been in blurring mode for long time.
Have 2 person that i really respect and really thankful to them. I always be so grateful and felt very licky to get knowing them.
Not until today.
Don't know since when i started keep asking myself. Is it this 2 person is really helping me on anything? For a long time i didn't get the answer. Until today... i think the answer become more clearer to me. The answer is...NO.
What i found out is that this 2 my respectful persons, actually is just using me around. They don't even help me once. Is true that they got give me a lot of chances, teach me a lot of things and even help me a lot. But the truth is there are some motif at behind the scene.
Actually after i coming to Sabah here, i keep asking myself that is it this is what i want? Is it the right way that i choose? Until this second this questions still remain a question mark. But 1 thing that i can confirm. Is that i TRUST a wrong people.
Not much but just 2 weeks time. I've been trained from a weak person to a cruel person. Actually i love a peaceful life, but people around me keep forcing me to the cliff side. There is just 2 ways in front of me. 1, jump of to the cliff or 2nd choice, stand up and fight back that anyone step in front of me.
I think after today, i have my own new way, my own rules and my own decision. At here i take this opportunity to thanks that 2 person. Is you 2 who teach me how to be fight. But is you 2 also who teach me to fight you back....
Above is the artwork that i present to both of you...
The God is fair... today you have been using me... but as i know... you both also been using by some one that you trust with all your heart. Human reality is SELFISH. They just will keep using each other to get what they want. Cos everyone in this century have a CHAOS HEART as the artwork above...
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